The Grace Small Group Covenant
A covenant is a solemn, formal, binding agreement, promise, or contract between two or more people. We don’t enter into covenants that often – and we shouldn’t. It would be inappropriate at acquaintance-level associations, and even most friendships don’t require something this sacred. When, then, might it be important – even mandated – to outline specific expectations and desired outcomes? When there is something of mutual interest to the group but something more important than the individual.
At Grace, we don’t demand people to make a covenant, but we encourage it. It must be corporately valued and mutually abided by because we believe We do this because we want to make clear certain assumptions. And we have to admit: we’re all at different levels of emotional and spiritual maturity. Some of us have never seen anything like this before.
Therefore, treat this as a living document – an agreement that can be amended customized for your group. If you’re willing, please ask your group to affirm the following:
Grace Small Groups will be led by values that we seek to affirm in spirit and truth. We as a group have decided that while we sojourn life together, we will affirm these values:
- We believe in a culture of grace. Agape-love is God’s love for all people. Grace is an emanation of that love as we accept others and ourselves without condition. We believe that everyone deserves to be included, embraced, valued, and part of a family. This is not the same as affirming their beliefs if they are contrary to mine, but this is affirming they are a person of value to the Lord.
- We believe in safety.Safety involved feeling secure and protected from danger as well as openness and freedom to explore and try new things. This doesn’t mean avoidance of discomfort but feeling safe because we are in a group of gracious people. We will respect the feelings and opinions of others and suspend judgement (“I am right – they are wrong and a bad person”). I will never defraud another person in my group in any way be it financially, emotionally, or spiritually. We will practice loving confidentiality – the only time this might be broken is if someone is a danger to themselves or someone else.
- We believe in vulnerability.Participation in a Gospel Fellowship implies I am a work in-progress and need the input of others to mature my process. Vulnerability is the attitude of showing up and courageously – but appropriately – presenting our authentic selves. We choose to reciprocally not be afraid and believe the very best in others by risking the sharing of our lives openly and honestly. Sharing of failings and faltering will always be seen as strength and never weakness. We will act on guilt (we’ve done bad things), but we will not tolerate shame (I am a bad thing) of others or ourselves.
- We believe in truth.Growth as a disciple means recognizing the reality of our immaturity, character flaws, and patterns that are problematic or destructive. We believe that humility is necessary in order for us to receive the truth of who God has made us to become. Small groups offer a nutritive context where the truth can be reciprocally given and received. This group will endeavor to be vertically aligned to the values and beliefs of Grace Community Church.
- We believe in ownership.To get close to others is to risk offense. Ownership is taking responsibility for your part in problem conflict. If I have offended or caused a rupture, I will take ownership and do my best to repair. This may be with a group member, a family member, a church member, or person in the context of our community. This means ownership of the ideal of fellowship: when I commit to this group, I will prioritize physical, emotional, and spiritual attendance. I will pray for others regularly. When I don’t see another member, I myself will contact them.
- We believe in repentance.Repentance recognizes that worldly, sinful, or unwise experiences, beliefs, and behaviors are ruinous to spiritual and emotional health. Repentance is the process of ridding ourselves with the power of the Holy Spirit and God’s people to be transformed into someone else.
Most of us are ready to commit to learn and abide by these values. But if we break them – whether critically or consistently – we may be asked by the group leaders to repent and even suspend attendance until corrective measures are taken. This is a serious matter and will be done under the supervision of the pastor overseeing Small Groups. We always want to repair – but safety cannot be guaranteed – we may need to abandon reconciliation within the group.
What do you feel needs to be emphasized? What is missing? Do you find value for your group to agree to this and sign it?
Got questions, contact Sean!